Just read the comics.

When I was in 2nd and 3rd grade, I would buy a Houston Chronicle every morning on the way to school. I picked the Chronicle because it had more comics than any other paper. Two pages, I believe. I would read the comics, then throw away the paper.
As I got older, I'd read more and more of the paper. I'd read the editorials and all the news and try to read it cover to cover. I really enjoyed this for a while, but then I realized that everything else besides the comics was negative, and sometimes the strip writers were the only people who seemed to have a correct view of life. Now, I buy the paper, and just read the comics, and throw the rest away. Dallas Morning News has three pages of comics.

I could use a corndog.